As a pillar of salt, her value to the chain restaurant starved refugees of Dallas would be incalculable.

Elizabeth II: Citizens On The Throne

Apparently she's sort of a gearhead. There's a story I heard that on route to some castle up in the Highlands of Scotland she stopped her car to help some stranded motorist, who didn't realize she wasn't just some random old lady until her security detail car came rushing in to see what happened.

OK Queenie, it's back in the 50s, you're nice and young, you've just been coronated, I'm taking off your cloak… No, leave the crown on. Ooh, what's this? Stockings? You've been getting through your nylon ration book pretty quicky, you naughty, sexy Queen!

The flash forward scenes here are supposed to be pretty contentious.

Hoskins played Beria in that picture about Stalin's projectionist.

But his T-zone was top shelf!

Con Stapleton is on the awards committee

Couldn't the lobsters and their habitats (if they are at all farmed) just be moved north to Nova Scotia or Newfoundland?

All that hair!

Fred's Chrysler that's a big as a whale is responsible for a significant chunk of global warming.

Oddly enough, just before watching the debate I watched the episode of Deadwood where Cy Tolliver tells Leon the Dope Fiend Faro Dealer to become a rabblerouser. Trump's answers had almost as much ranting about China.

During that war there was a skirmish outside Smolensk where some of the Polish troops held off a small detachment of Russian horsemen that were trying to dislodge them from the high ground atop an old Orthodox graveyard. Despite it just being a minor probing attack, after the battle the Polish noted there were…

I agree with your assessment of the caliber of these puns. They simply aren't Godunov

And that asshole teacher that no one liked…..went on to become a ardent campaign volunteer for Paul LePage.

One of my ex-wife's best friends is married to a Greek Cypriot. We were once stuck as bystanders in an argument that walked a knife's edge of joking and dead serious in its hatred of Turks and everything about Turkish culture (which he said did nothing but steal from every other culture). When his wife got into it…

I thought it was "…you showed me what that hose was for." Which is pretty self-explanatory.

Shakespeare is proof that being a shameless brownoser isn't mutually exclusive from being a great artist.

"Newly revitalized Rolling Stone magazine gives Boomers something to read while waiting to die"

My cat's an excellent mouser. He goes House Bolton on them though, chasing and torturing them till their heart gives out, then chewing off their backlegs and hindquarters till he gets bored of eating them.