I tried, but I could only manage 3 seconds of Chris Hardwick. Goddamn, it's good to be a mediocre white man in America.

"Jazelle"? If that's the first spelling you come up with, maybe stay out of the strip clubs for a bit.

*spoiler*

Isn't the majority of TV middle-aged white guy [insert type] porn?

Dr. Zizmor!

Leave Gettysburger and the pizza place that names pies after first ladies alone. They're blameless. (The fast food options on this show sound delicious.) If I open a Gettysburger, am I going to be sued?

People Are Fucking Awful: Part Infinity

Why does he keep doing this stuff? Drugs/alcohol or bipolar disorder or both?

Get a pedicure.

Yes! I saw some fans describe it as a Pap smear! I'm hoping they've never been to a GYN otherwise, someone has some explaining to do, hopefully to a medical board. I also read posts from some fans speculating that it was another man's child, because that's the only reason Olivia would have an abortion.

Wrist meat is the new shark jump.

I don't blame *anyone* for bailing out. The show is hot garbage now. I kinda want to see how bad it's going to get. Plus, Kerry and Tony have remarkable chemistry.

You're not kidding. When I read about states that only have two abortion clinics that are half a day's drive away, I feel terrible. It's such a burden.

I watch Scandal mostly because I was invested since the beginning when it was a halfway decent show.

Please forward this idea to Adam Reed immediately.

OK, I admit it. I have to tickets to this.

Right?

Coldplay's first two albums were decent and then Chris Martin contracted goop. He never fully recovered.

Oh look, it's the latest installment of "David Bowie Had Taste". Will this replace "Great Job, Internet!"?

Both of these men are Oscar winners.