The media should only build people up until they tower above us like unknowable gods!

EDIT: Joke about the IAU already made, so let's move on.

And Phil Ochs gets thrown out of another limo.

I'm sorry — you would seriously deprive the world of Having Fun with Elvis on Stage?

"Mr. President, I really do think all drug use in this country can be traced back to The Beatles." — paraphrase of something Elvis told Nixon

But I can't help
Pissing the rug for you

If you see the 30 for 30 film "The Band That Wouldn't Die," there's file footage of Tagliabue looking ready to choke whenever anyone mentions Baltimore expansion. The other thing is that Jacksonville, by all measures, had the worst bid for NFL expansion in 1993 — small market, two existing Florida teams, better…

You're thinking of Pat Boone.

Goddamnit, where's the subtlety and nuance I expect from Public Enemy?

It may be the case for every commissioner, but the more you read about Tagliabue — Playmakers, the concussion cover-up, the gleeful screwing of Baltimore's football aspirations (and I say that as a Steelers fan) — the more you struggle to find something admirable.

Paul Tagliabue's eye involuntarily twitches.

Minnie elected to Disneyworld House of Representatives to fight extradition to Universal Studios.

That was it. Also, I had a friend who was struggling through an economics PhD at the time, and glibertarian answers to complex questions are the exact opposite of what economists do.

"How did I get into this dark, wet cave?"

You could always pay rent on your own! The feather had nothing to do with it!

This deserves way more likes.

The Secret, along with Freakonomics, holds the rare honor of being a book that made me so mad I threw it across the room. In The Secret's case, the trigger was some passage I summarize as "Do you know why 90 percent of the world lives in poverty? Because they don't think positively!"

IT'S NONABSOLUTE CLOBBERIN' TIME!

Goddamnit I love you.

8 p.m. LITTLE HOUSE: A NEW BEGINNING Laura (Melissa Gilbert) is eaten by a bear. Series/Special.