I'm not talking about a thought process. I'm talking about a fact. I'll repeat myself, I guess. Given two options: 1) not seeing movie X, or 2) illegally downloading movie X, the producers of movie X gain no more revenue if I choose option 1 than if I choose option 2. Period. Full stop. This is just a simple…

I guess we're getting somewhere now.

Look, I understand your point, but I'm not sure you understand mine. Assume I am not willing to pay to see The Hurt Locker. I have two options: 1) don't see it at all, or 2) download it illegally. According to your argument, option 1 is morally superior to option 2. But the fact is that option 1 is no better for…

It's not really just a semantic issue. Internet piracy is not MORALLY equivalent to stealing. Sort of like how spanking your toddler is probably not a good thing, but it's not the same as punching him in the face.

Dawg (if that IS his (or her) real name) seems to be defending himself (or hersaww fuck it) fairly well. Those anti-piracy ads at the beginning of DVDs—you know the ones, "You wouldn't steal a bike," etc.—are infuriating for several reasons, one of which is that internet piracy, whatever its moral or legal standing,…

I've fired my secretary.

He look, it's that British asshole John Goodman yelled at on Sunday.

This is a serious question: how is "fly, go hard like geese erection" any less hilariously absurd than the Masturbating Bear?

No, he wants rings for his performance. He's more Kobe Bryant of an artist.

Also, it said THUMB SURGERY, 1st INSTALLMENT.

It was just:

Maybe everyone knows this already, but I think that movie was supposed to be called A COUPLE OF DICKS. Which isn't that funny, but it's better than COP OUT. I don't know this for sure, but I assume that when the original title didn't pass muster with the MPAA or whatever, someone suggested COP OUT as a joke. Because…

Actually, Clueless Neophyte, Bill Reed is right, at least according to Bryan Garner. The AP has some convoluted system, but anyone who isn't a newspaper journalist should probably ignore it and just use the extra S. Not that I spend my free time reading usage dictionaries…

Aha! If you were really locked in the room, how could you go to the executive kitchen at all? You have been caught in a lie, sir.

Thanks for the advice, Nathan, I'll check it out. I'm also going to imagine you saying "Rapping even!" in the voice of Snagglepuss. I hope you don't mind.

in the realm of hip hop…
I haven't felt that way about a whole album in a while (DOOM's new album is probably the closest), but I have felt that way about a few songs in the last couple of years.