"Wearing a backpack in a non-hiking context" sounds like a Demetri Martin joke, actually.

Just don't call someone racist!

Cool. This sure sounds like a Foo Fighters song, and I like Foo Fighters songs.

I know 8D is meant to mean eight-dimensional but I can't stop seeing a super-happy face.

Burned from the inside out by cinnamon gum.

So fetch

Ha! That's actually brilliant.

Yeah, but "covfefe" is fun to say.

4-D CHESS! MASTER HYPNOTIST! THE DONALD WILL MAGA!

"Coverage" has one more letter than "covfefe", the last of which is an 'e' - maybe that's what the author meant?

DOG WHISTLE

The fuck? It means "coverage" but he tweeted before he was done. What else could it possibly mean?

definitely

Albakirky

Novfefe

There's a popup restaurant in my (university) town that sells grilled cheese, but only from 12-3 am on Friday and Saturday nights.

It's Uber but for punching jerks in the face.

Photo caption contest?

This list should arguably be delimited with semicolons instead of commas for clarity. Assuming that's what you were going for.

The stakes have never been higher!