His being a suspect in a homicide—in an investigation conducted after one of them was dead, and with no definitive connection drawn yet by the investigators—is not the same as both of them having a "criminal record" when they perpetrated the bombing. I'm also not sure where you're getting your information that "it was…

"Dzhokhar Tsarnaev admitted to playing a role in the marathon bombings, which killed three people and wounded more than 260, and told federal agents that he and his brother were motivated by extremist Islamic beliefs, when he was interviewed Sunday at the hospital, law enforcement officials said."

For commenters? Every article.

Or, like the second. But this is the final, official announcement, so you'll never be forced to click on an article you don't need to read about it ever again.

You can have that "Respect The Westeros" shirt if you want it. My cat's sleeping on it currently.

I've been doing this for nine years now, and intermittently I'll hear something similar from people like yourself who are rubbed the wrong way by it. I would say the chances of me changing my style into something that better suits your taste are pretty slim at this point…. The good news is you're already aware that…

What happens if people agree with you?

You have correctly identified the joke.

So fucking what?

Accusations of it being a gimmick have cropped up in numerous negative reviews. You can Google "Birdman" and "gimmick" yourself.

He guest starred in two episodes.

Whoops. Thanks Jake! I'm glad to see you remain as dedicated to factual reporting as you were in Nightcrawler.

They also have Hemlock Grove.

There's nothing wrong with you being in your 40s and having sex. Just with you being in your 40s and using emojis and having sex.

Not all news is supposed to "stun" you. It's called Newswire, not Surprises For El Dan.

These are newly released photos from the new season. I do this sort of thing in Newswire all the time, with various shows, and have done so for years.

Oh, sorry. "Agency that McDonald's hired to oversee its charity auctions is selling McDonald's special sauce for $18,000"

No, it said…. stick… team. You know, stick team! Stickball! Go away, leave me alone!

Hey all, looks like this is my last Newswire until 2015. I'm outta here. Everyone enjoy your holiday and/or resent the fact that I am enjoying a holiday!

It'll all come together in the episode where they make the "City Of Crime (Dragnet)" video.