My definition of a good night……..
………is any night that I get to read something by Claire Zulkey……..

If there was a "least awful" list,……
…….then Claire Zulkey would be on it……(because Claire Zulkey is awesome)…….

Speaking of surviving…..
……………you know what helps me survive??? Zulkey.com does……..

This makes no sense…..
….why would someone want to watch a video about pandas or listen to Britney Spears when they could just be looking at Zulkey.com instead????

If Claire Zulkey became a vampire……..
…..I would totally let her turn me into one, too……..

My favorite super hero……..
…..is Claire Zulkey!!!!

Once more I find myself wondering…..
…..why on earth don't they let Claire Zulkey write more than they do???

The article makes a good point but…..
………..this movie wouldn't be bad at all if it had Claire Zulkey in it!!!That'd rock!!!

I don't understand???
Why do they call him "the boss"???? Claire Zulkey is "the boss"!!!!

"Jerry Seinfeld"????
Who cares about him???Claire Zulkey is waaaay cooler!!!!

Ohhhh…..
…wow, I can't wait until this show is on again so I can hear Claire Zulkey write about it…….

I suppose that this is obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes, but….
……none of those models is anywhere near as pretty as Claire Zulkey…..

I have a question I will now ask the A.V. Club:
How did Claire Zulkey get to be so awesome?

That was OKAY……
……….but it pales in comparison with the work of CLaire Zulkey……..

Sharon Stone is too sleazy!!!
It is really too bad that she doesn't have class like Claire Zulkey!!!

This looks like a terrible movie!!!
The only way i'd see it would be if I got to go see it with Claire Zulkey….

Yuck!!!
That looks gross!!! THe only way i'd try it was if it was a gift from Claire Zulkey………

That title makes me think about spending five days with Claire Zulkey
(but then, everything makes me think of Claire Zulkey)