Does this not presuppose that Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo are, in fact, self-aware?

James Dean did nothing but rip off Marlon Brando and be handsome.

You forgot "straight".  If you're white, straight and under 25.  If you're gay you can add gay partyboy to the list.  Oh, and if you're a Jew you can be a Naked Brother.

I can't think of Orlando Bloom without picturing Disneyworld overrun by hobbits and wizards.

But isn't Jesus like a +9 for protection?  Like a second condom?

I plan to hand out yarmulkes and teach trick-or-treaters to dance the hora.  Does that make me a bad person, too?

This is hilarious.  Although, to be fair, I've had those two going in my head more or less constantly since about 1993.  So really, it's more confusing than anything else.

Are we upset that somebody is targeting constipated stoners?  Or that the stoners won't be constipated any more?  WHICH IS IT?

Freddie's dead,
That's what I said,
BOW CHICKA BOW BOW BOW

Like when Bon Scott died and AC/DC became Minor Threat?  Or was that Otis Redding?

How about "Brian May: Nitwit?".

Why not Ludacris? Or Beethoven?  Or the sun?

Isn't that Brian Williams already does?  Or am I thinking of Billy D Williams?

If Men Of a Certain Age is the Sex Pistols of middle-age man comedies, then I nominate M*A*S*H as The Ramones.  Which would make Frasier The Clash.  I'm not sure who Coach is yet.

My President loves Kanye and wants to have his children.

Now why can't Biggie and Tupac hug it out?

Cheney.

One is the symbol of the United States, the other is a decaying slut who should have vanished a decade ago.

I hope they cast Bob Hoskins as Johnny Cage. And John Leguizamo as Goro. 

I am climbing to my freedom, freedom from fear, freedom from marrying
the wrong person, like Buddy WillardKurt Cobain, just because of sex, freedom from the Florence Crittenden Homes gas station bathroom, where all the poor girls go who should have been fitted out like me, because what they did, they would do
anyway…