I think we can all agree that the Band Leader roll peaked with G.E. Smith.

I'm so glad old people take care of everything in this country so I can just sit here at the bar and drink.

I can't get passed the Tony Stark facial hair. So punchable.

I filled your mom with 250 lbs of raw….

Your mom took my Dickensian last night.

Or congress.

Your mom went all Jethro Tull on me last night.

Cold as an Ice Walker's tit.

I like to think Nic Cage still uses a pager.

You can get a perfectly good impostor jet for a tenth of the price, and I hear it can do balloon animals too.

Take a few more quaaludes…

At least Carl Perkins's plane has an engine.

I went to high school with a kid named Elvis. I'm always surprised by it's lack of popularity.

But that's exactly where she told me to put it.

Yes.

Right after this drink.

Your mom praised my orb last night.

"I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more…"

*slides shot of whiskey down bar to @disqus_80Jor4kFT0:disqus

I don't think I'm any more drunk than usual this morning, and I know I recognize most of those words, but I still wasn't picking up what Erik was putting down…