That almost sounds worse.

Only the Giant Panda. Red Pandas breed quite successfully in captivity. But everyone knows, that Giant Panda meat is far superior to Red Panda meat. Alas….

It honestly looks exactly like Ron Pearlman as Hellboy in the AV Club video header.

Thanks, dad.

"Yeah. Right. Forehead".

Well would you look at that. Do they share a scene?

Helen Hunt truly is the goodest of good witches.

I'm very upset that we'll never get a Heat-like movie uniting Paxton and Pullman on screen together.

But…but, Van Halen.

That is one of the nicest tributes ever from a bunch of nerds.

Someone said Bill Clinton was there last night. I think your feeling is about to get sinkier.

And the nobodies eight or nine rows back couldn't have cared less.

Those were my exact words to your mom last night.

The way he ripped the envelop out of Beatty's hand was just awesome.

I heard this morning that ever since Jack Palance and Marissa Tomei conspired to steel the award in 1994 they've provided a back-up envelop.

I never read the writing on an envelop before I tear it open either.

How does your mom know so much about swallows?

And Mark Twain would say rumors of mom's bedroom prowess are greatly exaggerated.

Maybe he's not clear on the concept of what circumcision actually entails. Like he thought there was some other whole appendage that men are naturally born with.

Spotted Dick.