"Have you ever noticed how peanut farmers walk like THIS, and onion farmers walk like THIS?"

Bobby Darin learned far too late in life that his entire childhood was a lie. The sad part is that he knew he was going to die young, and the distress caused by that revelation probably pushed him closer to the grave. We never really had the chance to see that emotional pain reflected in his art, which is a real shame.

Netflix renews this pile of crap over picking up any number of more worthy pilots?

Original Hamburglar, or the sexy Hamburglar they introduced last year?

Hillary's up by 40 points in the polls in my state, and I live in a Republican district where the demographics lean toward Rubio. I think Bernie's great, but my vote isn't going to get him any further to the nomination; it might get the GOP closer to a brokered convention. As someone who'd like to see the current…

They should have scheduled a concert in St. Pierre and Miquelon, just to fuck with you Canucks.

Beat me to it!

The candy and old-time soda selection in the Cracker Barrel store can be its own "Snack or Whack" feature.

Just an aside: Justine Sacco is currently the PR director at FanDuel, a company that needs all the good PR it can get. If that tweet was enough to ruin her life, then she must be incredibly valuable at her job.

Kasich ain't stealing no delegates, bitch!

My state votes tomorrow, and it's an open primary. From my "officially independent and self-identified moderate, but who am I kidding, I vote Democratic 90% of the time" perspective, I have to take a Republican ballot and vote for Rubio, in the fleeting hope enough anti-Trump votes are cast to keep him from clinching…

I think I may have blocked those out of my memory. (Shutters)

I would love to see a Kickstarter for a Doughboys road trip, but there's little chance that trip won't end with either Mitch or Nick being murdered by the other's hand.

Can I just ask: who actually likes tater tots? Thanks to attending a public school in the 1990s, where tots were served at lunch every day, I can't stand the damn things.

The hidden track on "Odelay" was a minute of electronic nonsense, and it freaked me out as a kid.

MONKEY STYLE!

Wizards Jordan only lasted for two seasons. I can't pinpoint exactly when the Simpsons became a zombie, but it's been several times longer than that.

Spelling your name Clark-with-an-E-at-the-end? That's very hipster.

I went to see a doctor, but all he did was suck blood from my neck. Don't go see Dr. Acula!

I was watching a TV competition a while back — it may have been American Ninja Warrior — and the host referred to a particular contestant as a "confirmed bachelor" on multiple occasions. He was competing with his brother, who was married, and him being single was used to highlight the contrast between the two. There…