Her half-brother's name is Angus Tenderloin.

"Seeso Puede!"

David's playing in my city in a couple of months, and a friend of mine asked if I was going to buy pre-sale tickets. My answer was more or less the same: he's a very good comic actor, but his stand-up persona is too angry, bitter, and condescending to want to spend $50 on watching him for an hour. Pass.

The actual lottery contest that tied into the game show was just as bad. It started as a multi-state drawing where the ping-pong balls had Monopoly properties on them instead of numbers; after only a few weeks, the state agencies complained so much that players had no idea how to play, it turned into a $10 scratch…

For a couple of years, Aikman and Collinsworth were both in Fox's three-man "ABC" crew.

"A tradition unlike any other…"

The only other thing I've seen Gardell in lately is an incomprehensible "Monopoly"-themed lottery show. I'm not sure that would meet the criteria of "better."

We talked about this all week, Jeeyum! In order to be successful in football, you have to be able to score points, and this game is gonna come down to which team does that better.

(Finds soccer movie with Paul Rudd and a dog, is just "Mac & Me" clips on a continuous loop)

Part of me wants to suggest "He'd Send In the Army," but there are few bands out there who have the rhythm section to keep up with it.

"Reptilia" was covered last year, so that's probably a no-go.

I think I requested this song last year.

That's either one X short, or one X too many.

"Mambo No. 5" - Lou Bega
"To Hell with Poverty" - Gang of Four
"Take This Job and Shove It" - Johnny Paycheck
"Sailing" - Christopher Cross
"Everything to Everyone" - Everclear

"Nobody But Me" - The Human Beinz
"Auf Achse" - Franz Ferdinand
"I Hope You Die" - Wye Oak (AV Undercover Hall-of-Famers)

As I requested last year, "Use Me" by Bill Withers.

On that vein, "Der Kommisar" by After the Fire (bonus points for Falco's original German version).

In theory, I have no problem with responsible private gun ownership. That said, I'm a white male who lives in the suburbs and doesn't hunt. To me, firearms are a tool that I have no need for; in addition, I find the culture surrounding guns in this country so distasteful that I have little want to own one.

Or that said handgun would do any good in a crowded theater being ambushed by gunmen wielding assault rifles.

When people tell me that mass shootings occurring on a near-weekly basis is just "the cost of freedom," I say that the price is too high. (I'd prefer to respond with a simple "fuck you," but I'd lose the upper hand on civility if I did that.)