ESPN has become something I hate despite acknowledging that, as a huge sports fan, it is an inescapable presence in my life. It's become a 24/7 hype machine for the NFL and college football, and I just don't care about football during the offseason; even worse, those two are fundamentally-rotten institutions that are…

I wouldn't say 21A beers suck, but they are average in a way that makes them more forgettable than a stand-by.

Not only that, but proxy boobs, as in, "Hey everybody, it's the tits we're going to be seeing instead of Kate Upton's!"

Surely, he isn't down as much as Kansas City's mascot.

It's just hard to determine which sitcoms will fare well in syndication. In general, multi-camera shows do better than single-camera shows, but that's probably because the former tend to be broader than the latter. That said, "The Office" and "30 Rock" tanked in reruns, while "Parks and Recreation" has done very well;…

I was ready to see the chef leave, but not to a guy with a handlebar mustache.

I wouldn't be surprised if James Deen is revealed underneath that mask and fedora.

The Hamburglar may have received a makeover, but when will the voters realize that the change we need won't come with another four years of Mayor McCheese at the helm?

I had to make a 12-hour drive to a funeral last weekend, and ate McDonald's five times in four days.

NEWS FLASH: I can't recognize Eugene Levy without glasses. I spent several minutes previous to reading the review muttering to myself, "is that Dan Hedaya?"

A sitcom about an owner who spends more time on his terrible blues band than his even more abysmal NBA team sounds pretty amusing to me.

For a lot of people, Bieber represents that pocket of Millennial "internet fame" that you don't get if you were born prior to 1989 and remember a time when cultural sensations couldn't fly completely over the mainstream. You can't blame him for that.

"Coca-Cola Life tastes just like Diet Coke, only with 80 times the calories!"

Scott and Tom were content to talk shop during the opening segment, and Mary's character didn't do anything to steer the conversation in a funnier direction (besides occasionally interjecting with innuendos). The guests didn't mesh, and it happens sometimes.

I don't know about Missouri, but some Hardee's where I lived in Illinois changed their name to Carl's Jr. when they first merged, and people lost their damn minds.

But I thought the whole point was that the best Mexican food was IN the shitty neighborhoods…

Krystal is great for those times when you want to immediately regret what you've just eaten.

And mercury poisoning.

The problem is because it's BET, instead of everyone having a laugh, the pranks will all end with a cop shooting the prankster at point-blank range.

I didn't watch either until I started running in my twenties. I did at least know of Steve Prefontaine before then, as I was an avid collector of Eastbay catalogs when I was a kid, and a bio of him popped up every cross-country season.