"If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit?…

DRAW BLOOD!

The GOP became so fucked that Barry Goddamn Goldwater abandoned the party before he died.

Steve Holt is a bastard — he doesn't even know who his real father is!

This election is the perfect showcase for why a large federal government is the most dangerous thing in America. It means that the idiots can take control and fuck everyone from sea to shining sea, instead of just fucking their town or state. This is basically the ultra-conservative (in the original sense of the word)…

This is like Hitler-in-the-bunker-in-45 levels of insanity right now.

Didn't Scott Adams come up with that "4d chess" line?

Shia doesn't know how many years on this Earth he's got left…

Jesus H. Christ. Can you imagine him pitching that idea to the Joint Chiefs?

Yeah, I've said all along that a vote for Trump is an intellectually lazy way of saying "fuck you." "He's a loose cannon all them libtards don't like? Hell yeah, vote for The Donald, man!"

Shit, if that doesn't work, he better toss out Generals Pershing and Knox!

Hah, I picture one of those Ben Stiller Show "Legends of Springsteen" sketches where Bruce starts a story during "The River" but keeps going for 12 hours and it's actually his entire autobiography. "So there I was…"

Just need a broth, a potato, and baby you got a stew goin'.

It's what Sanka brand decaffeinated coffee does to you: https://youtu.be/tXdYooZcVM…

Early in the race, people cheekily called him a "loose cannon."

The email thing is sordid, and frankly I will never trust Hillary Clinton, but Trump is just so much worse in literally every way.

What's interesting is that at the end of his life, Goldwater repudiated the GOP because of what it had become. If he were alive today, he'd probably punch Trump in the face.

MSNBC: the equivalent of a nuclear waste dump for all the radioactive former NBC talking heads.

The only thing I remotely respect about GWB is that he's kept quiet for the last eight years, even if that's not entirely by choice. Part of me hoped Rumsfeld would pull a McNamara and quasi-apologize for Iraq, but that was asking for too much I suppose.

Let's have a do-over with two new candidates.