I made it 26 seconds in. That looks really terrible.

Getting your movie a guaranteed R rating (and probably halving its profits or more) because people on the internet asked you to should go down as one of the ballsiest moves in filmmaking history.

Keram Malicki-Sánchez is Hawaii's way, to say Merry Christmas to you.

I think you're implying that she's wicked hot, in much the way Scarlett Johansson is… in which case you're right, because I never found Ms. Johansson that terribly attractive.

Yes, I Want You / She's So Heavy was a good one. No, you're still wrong about Mr. Kite.

Yes, I Want You / She's So Heavy was a good one. No, you're still wrong about Mr. Kite.

I'm sick of hearing how bad Eddie Izzard's number in Across the Universe was. First, he wasn't even trying to sing, it was more like he was speaking the lyrics theatrically— which is exactly what his character was supposed to be doing, as a carnival barker. Second, it was probably the only interesting take on a…

I'm sick of hearing how bad Eddie Izzard's number in Across the Universe was. First, he wasn't even trying to sing, it was more like he was speaking the lyrics theatrically— which is exactly what his character was supposed to be doing, as a carnival barker. Second, it was probably the only interesting take on a…

Soggy biscuits. Come on, that was a freebie.

Soggy biscuits. Come on, that was a freebie.

Death Proof. Doesn't have many lines and his character almost never comes to the foreground. The few lines he has don't distract.

Death Proof. Doesn't have many lines and his character almost never comes to the foreground. The few lines he has don't distract.

I call this next one the Jack Reacharound.

I call this next one the Jack Reacharound.

He doesn't have enough clout to make the Alien prequel he wanted to, though. The studio wanted an original property that they could turn into a trilogy; that's when the original script was tossed and Lindelof was brought in. Lindelof is indeed a hack that doesn't deserve any of the work he's gotten, but the studio is…

He doesn't have enough clout to make the Alien prequel he wanted to, though. The studio wanted an original property that they could turn into a trilogy; that's when the original script was tossed and Lindelof was brought in. Lindelof is indeed a hack that doesn't deserve any of the work he's gotten, but the studio is…

Cape Fear, best performance of his career. Everything else is just different versions of himself. (Which is not a bad thing, but his performance in Cape Fear is right off the map.)

Cape Fear, best performance of his career. Everything else is just different versions of himself. (Which is not a bad thing, but his performance in Cape Fear is right off the map.)

I've wondered if the lift scene didn't cost the movie nominations. It's over the top gruesome. It reminded me of that Will Ferrell SNL sketch where he beats a guy to death with a pole… and he keeps hitting the body, and hitting it, until the audience stops laughing… then just keeps doing it until finally they start…

I've wondered if the lift scene didn't cost the movie nominations. It's over the top gruesome. It reminded me of that Will Ferrell SNL sketch where he beats a guy to death with a pole… and he keeps hitting the body, and hitting it, until the audience stops laughing… then just keeps doing it until finally they start…