Somewhere in Canada, around 1986, I'm sure there was a high school whose graduation song was "Tears Are Not Enough."

Somewhere in Canada, around 1986, I'm sure there was a high school whose graduation song was "Tears Are Not Enough."

My high school grad song (1991) was "Nothing Can Stand in Your Way" by Zappacosta.  If you're Canadian you'll know it.  Only years later did I pay close attention to the lyrics and realize the song is actually about a breakup.

My high school grad song (1991) was "Nothing Can Stand in Your Way" by Zappacosta.  If you're Canadian you'll know it.  Only years later did I pay close attention to the lyrics and realize the song is actually about a breakup.

I thought NBC wouldn't allow it.

I thought NBC wouldn't allow it.

I remember Day by Day.  It was created by Gary David Goldberg and followed Family Ties on Sunday night.  One of the little girls in daycare was Thora Birch, and Courtney Thorne-Smith (mmm…mid-'80s Courtney Thorne-Smith) worked there.

I remember Day by Day.  It was created by Gary David Goldberg and followed Family Ties on Sunday night.  One of the little girls in daycare was Thora Birch, and Courtney Thorne-Smith (mmm…mid-'80s Courtney Thorne-Smith) worked there.

At first I thought you were talking about "Monkeybone." Which, come to think of it, could also make an amazing podcast.

At first I thought you were talking about "Monkeybone." Which, come to think of it, could also make an amazing podcast.

Abraham has one of my favorite quotes over, when someone asked him whether he'd suffered an "Oscar curse": "If this is a curse, I'll take two."

Abraham has one of my favorite quotes over, when someone asked him whether he'd suffered an "Oscar curse": "If this is a curse, I'll take two."

I'd rather watch the complete and uncut version of "Innocence of Muslims" than see "Patch Adams" again.  What a manipulative piece of shit.

I'd rather watch the complete and uncut version of "Innocence of Muslims" than see "Patch Adams" again.  What a manipulative piece of shit.

The ultimate failed-Oscar-bait movie: Brian De Palma's adaptation of THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES.  If only the rest of the movie had lived up to that gorgeous opening time-lapse shot of NYC - or if Uma Thurman and Alan Arkin had been cast instead of Melanie Griffith and Morgan Freeman.

The ultimate failed-Oscar-bait movie: Brian De Palma's adaptation of THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES.  If only the rest of the movie had lived up to that gorgeous opening time-lapse shot of NYC - or if Uma Thurman and Alan Arkin had been cast instead of Melanie Griffith and Morgan Freeman.

We Hate Movies featured a spy movie in which John Stamos faced off against a hermaphrodite played by Gene Simmons.

We Hate Movies featured a spy movie in which John Stamos faced off against a hermaphrodite played by Gene Simmons.

Dirty Square Dancing!

Dirty Square Dancing!