It's like Quarantine meets Deep Blue Sea.

@The Questionater

I'm not Nathan, but I will cosign doing exactly that. That way you get to go straight to the good parts and skip all the boring shit (except for that naked skank ballet — I'm gay, but even I can say that sequence is sublimely ridiculous).

Um…
I just got back from a screening of Piranha 3D. It's "really erotic"? We care that people live or die? have no idea what Elisabeth Shue is talking about.

YOU LEAVE DOLLMAN OUT OF THIS.

I review elsewhere, but I can tell you it's pretty horrible. The 3D sucks, and the first hour or so is slooooow and boring, but the final 20 minutes is not without it's B-movie charms, chief among them Jerry O'Connell screaming "THEY TOOK MY PENIS! THEY TOOK MY PENIS!" But why cast Adam Scott if you're not going to…

If cranking out in a friend's bathroom is wrong, I don't want to be right!

Sure. But INTO A CUP?

My favorite Beat Kids was the one at the race track, where the little boy says to an elderly spectator: "Wanna see me do an impression of you? Gamble gamble gamble DIIIIIIE."

Anything and everything a truck can unload…

I will see you there!

Ahhh, yes, I'd forgotten about Fiennes!

As borderline-rapey as Jacob in Twilight, I hope.

I would so buy that poster.

so…
Who are the heavyweight cameos? My mom wants me to take her to see this, but I think I'll drop her off and go see Scott Pilgrim for the fifth time instead.

Go tonight at midnight!

I saw a trailer for Saw 3D at The Expendables, and it looks like "The Traps Come Alive" is just a tagline, not a subtitle. Sad.

so…
Even if he's "outrageously drunk and tripping on some herbal drug provided by Aniston's best friend," how does his thought process go from WOOOOOO! to "let me just masturbate in this here cup for a hot minute"?

Can we get some Alex O'Loughlin in a speedo?

@Wingnut McSpazzatron