I studied abroad in Florence for a semester and still have not gotten over the lack of salt in Tuscan bread. I get that you're supposed to salt the olive oil you dip it in, but that doesn't help.

I would love to be able to make it without it just tasting like spaghetti sauce, but I can't get the hang of how to incorporate the spices. How did you do it?

I thought I was the only one who did the "cereal dry with milk in a glass" thing! But come on, who the hell wants a time limit on their bowl of cereal?

I read old cookbooks from the 50s and 60s the way I read horror novels. I just…I don't understand. I don't understand. How do people eat these things? Why?

I'm the same way. I don't like most cheese (though there are some very mild ones I can tolerate, like Colby Jack) and anything sour and dairy is absolutely right out. Cream cheese on bagels makes me gag, and the thought of cottage cheese makes me queasy.

I never had a MySpace or a Xanga, but I still have a Livejournal, the contents of which I suppose now belong to Vladimir Putin, and a fanfiction.net account, which is far worse.

And their whole case was pineapple.

"Faith" was the #1 song in the country for a while in late '87.

It sounds like CPR was started right away, though, so…hopefully that might have at least offset that problem.

Isn't that thoughtful?

Yeah, I was gonna say. It's not so much that he's not into rural culture as it is that I don't think he's into any kind of culture. He reportedly doesn't read, and I doubt he has any musical preferences on his own. His decorating tastes are limited to "gold everywhere, because gold = money." He's completely void of…

Yay!

You want gravy on those broken goggles?

It's really pretty simple, actually. Either you believe women are obligated to serve as walking life-support machines whether they want to or not, or you don't.

Hey, when you put it like that, let's just run Tim Kaine. He'll seem new and fresh because we've all already completely forgotten about him.

I've spent twenty years of my life in Pennsylvania and two in Virginia, but after that electoral shitshow, I'm calling VA my home state now too.

They think it's having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

I think she might be one of the ones who was born into it, and she doesn't really talk about it as far as I'm aware, so either she's a smart enough Scientologist to know the value of keeping her trap shut about Xenu, or she's a non-believer who just doesn't want to publicly criticize the cult so she doesn't get cut…

That's why he chose a VP everyone hates even more.

"Yes, she was found weeks later in an armchair in that very corner, still holding this mug in her desiccated hand. It was difficult for everyone in the building, but one might say we…kept calm and carried on."