That probably is giving the show way too much credit, but that actually makes perfect sense.

I was hoping either Tristan or Gaga would turn him, leading to a nonsensical-but-hot vampire threesome.

That was kind of a weird visual. It looked almost like a creepy breastfeeding kind of thing, to go with the episode's mommy-issues theme.

Here’s what I don’t get. We’ve got two different characters now who are trying to seduce Will Drake, which makes perfect sense, because look at him. But they’re both only doing it in order to get something from him and then kill him, and in the meantime, they’re whining about having to make out with him in order to…

I thought I was allergic to asiago for years, because I ate an asiago bagel or something at a Panera and my lips swelled up to ridiculous proportions—but, like, a few hours later, not right on the spot, and it lasted for almost a day.

Honestly, I actually do find the addiction theme somewhat more interesting in light of what some of the actors have said about their own issues with it. I know Wes Bentley has been rebuilding his career in recent years after it was almost destroyed by his heroin addiction and drinking, and Cheyenne Jackson has been…

It's like "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." It sounds terribly profound when the context that makes it a dick joke isn't surrounding it.

"A tale told by an idiot" does neatly sum up everything Ryan Murphy has ever created.

I live in Hipster Central, Virginia. That dude is every other dude I pass on the sidewalk here.

—Shia LaBeouf

Well, Ryan Murphy is not exactly a stranger to introducing Cheyenne Jackson as a significant character and then abruptly getting rid of him without ever letting him do anything worth watching, so I'm thinking he probably doesn't make it past the next episode.

I'm NOT drinking any fuckin' Merlot.

I was about to protest the lack of Shea Whigham. I'm not sure what you'd put under "usually plays," though. I feel like he gets typecast as Russians with odd frequency for someone who is not in any way Russian, but around here he's known more for Boardwalk Empire and True Detective.

He was great in Thank You For Smoking. Plus, my mom once met him and bought him a drink, and claims he's a super nice guy.

To be fair, I wouldn't really call Henry IV the protagonist of either of the plays named after him. He was more the deuteragonist of Richard II.

I can't possibly convent you to give it a try?

I've had extended family gatherings where we just communicate almost entirely in lines from Galaxy Quest. I think the one we all probably use the most frequently is "But whyyy?" with that creaky injured-Mathesar inflection. It's versatile.

I think that's got to be one of my mom's favorite lines from anything. She was quoting that long before I was old enough to know where it came from (though she still tried, futilely, to explain the context to me.)

Well, to be fair, those lens flares make it pretty hard to see anything.

I get Topher Grace and Topher Brink confused. I always forget which one is the fictional one. There are only so many Tophers with single-syllable real words for last names that my brain can handle.