He said we could keep our doctor! He lied!

You look at it; I'm bitter.

Happy Belated Birthday!

Well, Dan Gladden does have two World Series rings, so I suppose he doesn't mind giving one up. Still, pretty generous of him.

It's a cock ring

You're right.

I've screwed plenty of things up for lots of other people. Where's my ring?

You mean you didn't do it out of love for the music?! POSER!!!

It didn't bring all the boys to her yard.

Dave Matthews once had one of his fans break my kneecaps. True story.

No chaos, no chaos! You're the chaos!

I see Failure and Fiasco, but where's Secret Success? Oh right, this is the Trump administration, not My World of Flops.

At least he lasted longer than the marriage of Cher and Greg Allman.

Moo-oo-oo-oo-oochie, Moo-oo-oo-oo-oochie
Why oh why did you go (come home, come home)
Moo-oo-oo-oo-oochie, Moo-oo-oo-oo-oochie
Come home Moochie, come home

Yes.

Love Prophet.

Lasagna? Surely you can't be serious.

Fever? In the the morning? fever all through the night?

You're never too young or too old to treat firearms as toys.

Hey, at least you got to eat at Subway. Subway - Eat Fresh!