"Where do these votes go?"

Maybe you're at a work Christmas party, and you're blind, and you're just keeping yourself occupied, because all those other assholes are over there playing Scrabble.

As long as you stay away from the Golden Corral, sure.

If the world didn't want to see me release a sex tape, they shouldn't have invented Vine.

Yes.

I'm holding out for the iHeartNewsRadio Jingle Ball.

a.k.a. Flogbert

See also: http://www.sbnation.com/201…

That's probably because everyone uses fondant now.

Greg Jennings had to put his team on his back, because Darren Sharper had roofied them on the previous play.

I'm on the tape-delayed side of the country, and I'd accidentally seen a mention of Colbert's immortality. I was worried I'd spoiled the finale, and so glad I was wrong.

Next month: Twitch Plays Detective.

"We were the subject of a hack which exposed sensitive documents relating to our $42M movie, The Interview."

I hope that one character thing is a misdirection. But that's only because I really like the last tag and I want it to be factually accurate.

Only until they realized how small the endowment was.

Aladdin.

Never count out Touchdown Tom.

What about Charlie "Clipboard Jesus" Whitehurst?

gg no re[leasing your movie in Asia]

With all the car accidents, they total about one car a month in this family.