Because of all the jokes. America is desperate for comedy, and Nurse Jackie is definitely a comedy.
— Excerpt from Nurse Jackie Emmy Submission Package

Trumpy Returns just got greenlit self-financed.

Season 3 of The Americans will introduce the anti-wig.

Maher exposure is measured in nega-rads. We have badges that you can wear to monitor your exposure.

The winning pairing was Che as the Weekend Update host and Jost as the desk.

Dead Prints.

You or we? I demand consistency in undermedicated ramblings.

You're allowed to do that if you refer to yourself in the plural. It's one of the voices liking what the other voice has to say.

Because Democrats are defending 2008 senate seats in a midterm election.

♫ The best-ever death metal smasher of testes… ♫

Smartphones/tablets typically have toggle shift/character keys.

So the little brown prince tamed the silver fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near—

NFL coaches, unlike the players, generally get guaranteed money. They also get paid outside of the salary cap, so the only issue is whether the ownership is willing / temperamental enough to pay for multiple coaches because they fired the earlier one(s).

Similarly, the Mac Pro was inspired by Brain's trashcan disguise.

So that you can annoy the people around you by texting via dictation.

The U.S. Club:

The Leftovers

The Rebate Box is my dark horse candidate to win.

They're avoiding spoilers for this season's games.

ESPN is even worse, with a 15 character limit.