Kind of related: When I was eight or so, our next door neighbors had a few turkeys that they didn't really keep locked up much (they weren't mean and didn't really get into anything, though). One night, a fox or coyote or something of that nature must have gotten them, and we woke up to mutilated turkey corpses all…

I had to get a stray cat I sort-of adopted put to sleep yesterday because she had masses on her kidneys and stomach. So, uh, fuck that, and so forth.

"That's your excuse for everything, Mom!"

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I haven't seen the Steven Universe episodes from last week, so I'm excited to catch up on it.

I prefer III mainly because, with the exception of Presence, it's the only Zeppelin album that hasn't been beaten into the ground by insipid classic rock radio.

I had a band teacher in high school who served, and whenever someone asked if he'd killed someone, he would say, "Yes. Oh, in the Army? No".

All of our ads, I mean. Everyone's ads are based your web history.

Fortunately, I live in my car, so that kills two birds with one stone.

Like Father, Like Son could be particularly kinky.

Starring Kirk Cameron, of course.

It can be two things, etc., etc..

What, you stop when the tearing starts? Amateur.

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"I'm sure your parents are very proud of you, more or less".

The opening monologue of Stan's story made his childhood sound like a Swordfishtrombones-era Tom Waits song.

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2016: Obama's America is a remake in spirit, if not title.