So long as it provides her the impetus to maintain relevance by posting topless pictures of herself on social media, I'm in full support of anyone giving her a show that I won't watch.

Wow, you are really falling on your "this is the same show" sword hard for not having even seen an episode.

All I know is that I started that Joe Satriani video while reading and have left it on while reading the rest of the article and comments, and now I'm having beautiful, beautiful flashbacks of listening to the Surfing With The Alien cassette I got for a penny from BMG Music club on my water-resistant Walkman Sport.

Gabriel was forced to finally give in to his dyslexia and put his faith in dog.

No … no he didn't. *sigh*

I'm way too thin-skinned

I can't "Party Like It's 1989"? So … locker room anxiety over pubic hair, getting shoved into locker doors by assholes and trying to live down farting in Language Arts are all out.

His response to the first commenter? Brilliant!

Cut the book apart. I'm serious. So much easier to read.

It's true. I read it on the internet:

Has it shown up yet on TBS?
"TBS: The gold standard of giving up."

I'm pretty sure anyone's favorite NOFX album, if they have one, directly correlates to their age. And, for a band that was around for so long, making pretty much the same music, that's to be expected and just fine. For me, 38, it's White Trash… or gtfo.

Rick? Rick Schroder?!?

There's a reason I have a huge TV in my house and a microwave that makes popcorn.

The Fault in our Candybars

How to Train Your Diabetes

You've firebombed a Hummer dealership before, haven't you?

I think if you'd look into the legalese, Warner Bros, Nintendo, etc own the "likenesses" of those characters. So basically, if someone can tell who it's supposed to be, you're supposed to pay for it. I would wager, though, that a lot of those characters weren't bought at street price. Just imagine the connections that…

When my wife asks our 5 yr old what the Carl's Jr star is saying, he's been ingrained with "Come try my yucky food!"

"One in the door!" The clarion call of my sad and lonely existence.