The Bride would definitely keep her own name, though. Which presumably was something like [mouth agape, horrifying choked-off scream].

*frightened whinny*

Land O'Calrissian.

Dantooine was too remote to make an effective demonstration.

I went to a Dead Boys reunion show on Halloween night, 1986. It was at the Ritz in Manhattan. Joey Ramone was the MC and judge for the costume contest, and sadly it was the only time I ever saw a Ramone onstage.

I must say, that is one of the more enjoyable, not to mention convincing, philippics I've read recently. Not the first time I've seen such invective hurled on this subject, however. I remain steadfast.

I'm afraid it's sincere. I understand why many people find him objectionable, but…dammit, I love that little mouse.

SNIFFLES OR GTFO.

Me at my next hair appointment: Scrawler says I should get auburn highlights!
My stylist: The fuck is a Scrawler?

Ooh, that sounds really pretty. Maybe it's time for me get some auburn highlights….

Oh, OK. Soul bit restored!

It looks great with her hair color, but I feel like in other contexts it could be a disaster.

Uff. You know how sometimes you feel like the internet is slowly killing your soul, bit by precious bit?

I have this plan where if I ever meet Bryan Cranston, I will say nothing about Breaking Bad and instead ask incessant questions about Tim Whatley. I just think it would be funny. I've mentioned this plan to several people, and I am clearly the only one who finds it remotely humorous.

Oh shit, Strahotski was on this show? For how long? I watched the first season a couple years ago, but didn't feel the need to go further. Is it worth dropping in on this last season if I'm only in it for the Australian hottie? Or should I just watch Chuck again?

It's so we can easily identify one another in the produce aisle at the natural grocery.

Never put salt in your eyes.

Nope, it's a strict north-south division, along the Mercer/Monmouth and Burlington/Ocean county lines. Central Jersey is a purely mythical land, like Oz or Wyoming. Woodbridge is North.

The fact that you call it "southern New Jersey" makes me skeptical of you being from there. It's South Jersey. TEST: How do you pronounce "water ice"? CORRECT ANSWER: You don't; it's a fucking Italian ice. South Jersey sucks.

It's OK, I wasn't allowed an apostrophe in my user name. And a big yes to the music—so vital to the show. I'm still bitter about WKRP. "Hold my order, terrible dresser"? Yeesh.