It wasn't really a broad parody, though. It was pretty fucking spot-on.

I'm reluctant to admit how many times I've watched The Hot Chick just because she's so funny and adorable in it.

Totally read that in the voice.

Let's hope. I admit I only said yes to a date because she looks like Sarah Paulson.

"My name's Max. I take care o' dem, which ain't easy…cuz when dey met, it was MOIDUH."

Speaking of punny sitcom titles, a friend and I once wrote a pilot for a (deliberately terrible) show called Saul 'n' da Family. It was about a single black mom and her kids—a smart but troubled teen boy and a precocious and sassy preteen girl—who move into a New York apartment that's haunted by the ghost of the…

That's actually better.

"Lobe it"? Dammit, is this more modern slang I have to learn? I just found out that "phat" has nothing to do with one's weight! Go figure!

My resolution this year is "be more social", with an addendum of "maybe get laid". As part of this effort, I figured I should actually respond to the messages I get on OK Cupid.

Good call. I do the same with Goodnight Moon. I also make sure every girl, when she gets a little older, gets a copy of Little Women.

Good call. I do the same with Goodnight Moon. I also make sure every girl, when she gets a little older, gets a copy of Little Women.

Gutsy as fuck, and also starting to look kinda foxy.

Gutsy as fuck, and also starting to look kinda foxy.

How about a grilled cheese sandwich and a nap? Does that sound worth it?

How about a grilled cheese sandwich and a nap? Does that sound worth it?

For a moment I seriously considered feigning illness at work so I could go home and watch this.

For a moment I seriously considered feigning illness at work so I could go home and watch this.

"The study's lead researcher speculates that the latter factor 'could be because bands provide peer support at stressful times'…."

"The study's lead researcher speculates that the latter factor 'could be because bands provide peer support at stressful times'…."

You sure are, big boy. *winks*