I'm going to build an overhead storage unit from a sketchy plan I found on the Internet for my hurricane plywood and all of my wife's Halloween decorations in our brand new garage (attached to our brand new house). I am not handy, and I will probably cause myself grave bodily injury. Wish me luck!

Double-Double Armageddon?

Rich young women have completely solvable problems and fuck a lot, filmed exquisitely. What more do you want?

I bought a '92 Chevy Beretta, because it had the only V6 in my price range. I drove it until 2005, when I bought a 2006 Ford Five Hundred. I threw a rod in the Beretta in 1997 when I drove it with an oil leak for just a few seconds too long. I was working a turnaround at the plant where I worked, doing 14 hour days…

I like the Abramovic Method, specifically the parts involving naked attractive women.

Yes. I never play FF, but I would do this, just to be more like Andre from The League, my hero.

Houston here also (Pearland, anyway). I'm in.

ENGLAND "WON" THE ASHES THREAD!!!!

ASHES THREAD!!!!!
Oh, who cares? Australia bats like Mario Mendoza on horse tranquilizers. This thing is over. If England somehow tanks the next two, which they won't, they will just run out the clock in the fifth test to get a draw and keep the Ashes. Any opposing views?

Very high up in the spank bank, that one.

You must be the same guy who does this on Deadspin.

I always use ESPNcricinfo, but I will look at the Guardian. If they do cricket as well as they reveal NSA secret surveillance programs, they should be pretty damned good. Are you a Bugler, too? Andy Zaltzman is why I started following cricket.

ASHES THREAD!!!

Seriously, this Ashes test is getting more bizarre by the day. An 11 debuting for a ton? Wha???

In San Antonio, it is Chester's. I WILL BROOK NO DISSENT! Ok, I'll brook a smidgen of dissent, BUT ONLY A SMIDGEN!

The Indians couldn't possibly invent anything as corrupt as College Football. We're No. 1!

But it's a trophy! Or it isn't. Who knows? It is an excuse to sit on your ass/arse and drink beer for days at a time, which isn't all bad.

I'm an American rooting for England because…they used to own us before they owned Australia? Not really sure. I could only follow it online today and through Friday, but I'll get up early Saturday/Sunday and see the end of the first test on WatchESPN. I'm on a lonely one-person quest to popularize cricket here. We…

ASHES CRICKET THREAD!
How's that for obscure? Anyway, WTF today? 14 wickets!

It's amazing that so many people seem to wait all week just to comment-bomb this feature. Amelie must be saying, "Oh fuck it, it's a paycheck."