So the poor old ostrich died for nothing…

Ah yes, A time when "the prerequisite for any battle was that the enemy should under no circumstances carry guns".

God, what a mess. I thought the tea-stain filter effect was only to be found on British TV of the 1970s, but clearly that's not the case.

"Hello Vince!"

Pfft. You kids and your mass-produced shoehorns. No appreciation of craftsmanship.

Only if you're a Tory cabinet minister.

Professor Murder concedes defeat for only the second time in his life.

Oh damn.

You're right. Completely devilled.

Just like that!

Ah, Alan Dean Foster, the Prince of 1970's SF Film Novelisation.

"One of the Southampton Organas…?"

An adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's All the Pretty Stegosaurs must surely follow.

Sullivan Ballou was killed and devoured a week later by Confederate velociraptors at the First Battle of Bull Run.

A veritable cornucopia of poor life choices.

Never take more than you can handle, Internet, and always know your dealer.

To be fair, St Kentigern does comfort those injured in flamboyantly stupid and entirely preventable theatrical accidents, so it could have been a lot worse.

Egads, me lads, it's a real pea-souper!

Or, as my wife and I call it, Inspector Barnaby vs The Murderous Yokels.

Guys, those puns are SO last gyros.