Or because the mysteries are uniformly obvious and stupid.

Gone are the days of our youth, when sobriety and discretion prevailed, and Zulkey wrote the AI reviews.

You can certainly speak to the other complaints.  You just don't choose to.

Whining about white guys winning things — check.

Now with "Family Meeting Lunchtime Playset"

I don't generally enjoy seeing women kick men in the face, but then I'm neither a submissive nor a hipster douchebag.  I would, however, enjoy seeing those two particular douchebags getting kicked in the face.  TV producers, take note!

I don't generally enjoy seeing women kick men in the face, but then I'm neither a submissive nor a hipster douchebag.  I would, however, enjoy seeing those two particular douchebags getting kicked in the face.  TV producers, take note!

It's also possible that Deb gets killed, and is posthumously blamed for the death of Travis.  She's the only other viable suspect in that murder.

It's also possible that Deb gets killed, and is posthumously blamed for the death of Travis.  She's the only other viable suspect in that murder.

What? …uh, well, nobody's perfect.  *bland fake smile*

What? …uh, well, nobody's perfect.  *bland fake smile*

JOHN G RAPED AND MURDERED MY WIFE

JOHN G RAPED AND MURDERED MY WIFE

I can see the gravy dripping off of your words.

I can see the gravy dripping off of your words.

Time has not been kind to this review, and in fact I notice the reviewer isn't active on the AV Club any more.  It's just as well.  When you fail this completely, it's best to disappear.

To be fair, Norway is just a plane ticket away.

To be fair, Norway is just a plane ticket away.

“When Obama is in the White House for a second term I'll take it all off,” quoth Madonna.
ROMNEY 2012

“When Obama is in the White House for a second term I'll take it all off,” quoth Madonna.
ROMNEY 2012