Your mama don't dance and your daddy don't Garfunkel.

I don't know how I forgot that one, my dog has a coronary every time I turn the vacuum on.

I'm sorry I wasn't listening. Did you say something about Garfield?

I always thought Roy Firestone had the smallest forehead, but that takes the cake.

My "Young Guns" class action suit is in the appeal process.

There's a gummy Venus De Milo stuck to it.

I think the only things dogs don't like are grapes and Michael Vick.

They got their work cut out for them if they are trying to out gay the Jean Cocteau/Jean Marais 1946 version.

That would be some inspired casting though

I wonder if anyone is cast as Jackie Stallone, Sly's mother. She was was a wrestling manager for GLOW in the 80's, and is a train wreck

For a moment I thought you meant film director Roman Polanski.

Well, she does clap like a Seal. Seal? Get it? Kiss by a Rose! [shoots self]

And my old man was Vice President, President of the United States and the director of the CIA.

It's an ominous sign when your family thinks Jeb Bush is more presidential than you are.

I remember during the Reagan and first Bush administration homelessness was a national issue that people rightly were upset that the Republican administrations were ignoring. There was Comic Relief, Hands Across America, protests, and benefit after benefit. Once Clinton was elected all of this went away and…

I remember during the 2000 election PJ O'Rourke saying that if W and Gore grew up where he grew up they both would have went to Kent State.

Homelessness was an enormous issue that plagued the Reagan administration but in all fairness I'm not really sure what democratic (Clinton, Obama) administrations after him did for the homeless either.

Based on some of these comments you'd almost think W wasn't very intelligent and kind of naive.

Wapner was getting a little Rusty.

That's in England