You should go back in time and ask straight Elton John. And he didn't even have the liability of being from Wisconsin.

We love you too, Pookie.

As a northern elitist who knows little of Carolina provincialism, but a lot about these kinds of arguments, I'm forced to identify this as the post where you lost.

@avclub-dd32eeb1df15b3d64c21fbda058f0597:disqus Here's an analogy: "The only way to eat beef shank is to also roast the bones and suck out the marrow. If you don't do it that way, you're not doing it right— the marrow's the most delicious part and it was made to be enjoyed that way."

It's almost like it's television.

Seriously, the Sopranos became an entirely different show. BRB, re-downloading Deadwood.

In other news:

APPARENTLY we're gonna be spending some time together, Kyle Ryan. Prepare yourself.

I feel like that would have been the least-filmable but most-terrifying challenge by FAR.

@avclub-73aaacf9803fed2a04f802f3f85225e5:disqus I agree— I think Top Chef handles this kind of challenge better. Also, congrats, Gordon, on learning that using the "yucky" voice will get kids to respond exactly as you want them to.

I hope and pray we have a chance to find out.

Again, you're assuming that they actually made something approaching legit teriyaki, which is probably wrong. What they did make: something full of sugar that was judged by elementary students.

He was dead on swiping his mixer too— Jordan got to be the BAWS, cook your way out if you deserve to be there. This ain't the final 5— if you're in the top 17, you're safe. I don't even think there's hard feelings on Luca's part. Just:  well, okay, cook your way out now.

Ricky, baby. It would be racist to suggest that that's why teriyaki won— not to observe the existence of Asian children. The same way it would be racist to assume teriyaki won on the South Side because it's chicken/cheapo "chinese" food.

Yuppie piece of shit.

Top 18 compete: in which Joe Bastianich eats cheesecake as many non-traditional ways as possible.

You should either learn to spell Steve Carrell's name or fix your autocorrect.

The guy who takes over for Colvin and the assistant principal lady sounded right to me.

@avclub-d7b683529752a4d24d84c4941861a363:disqus Sounds like you missed out on some pretty good shit, is what it sounds like.

Something tells me you didn't inject those pills. (I think that's the secret. Well, that and the face that a pharmaceutical company has intentionally attempted to make their product *slightly* less fun than heroin.)