Lotta good points here, guys, thanks much for the input.  Maybe I'll go the cheap-and-easy website route.  I'll have to scotch it over.

Thanks, miller218, that's incredibly nice of you to say.  Lemme buy the next round.

Masks

Stay right there—I'll be over in 30 minutes with a bottle opener, several types of alcohol, Gatorade, and wet naps.  And pie.

Thanks, Billy!  Don't ever shave.

Lower Decks, Baby

No drink!?  What a sad thought.

[takes drink]

Hey Buckaroo, I just sent a message to that email addy.  I assume drinking is allowed.

Unfortunately, I can't remember due to The Bender.  (Just like I can't figure out how I ended up in a dressing room at the Wal Mart on Crenshaw late last week wearing nothing but a terrycloth robe, sunglasses, and a UCLA art major named "Jenna.")  But if I were a betting man…

Thanks for the kind words, everybody!  And thanks for the hug, Mrs. Peel.  Drinks are on me!  —And I won't make you give me the flaming thumbs up, I promise.

Thought it was pretty funny, Trek!

Nice job, Prole!  I think it's only fitting we have a little scotch to celebrate.

The Bender

HA!  'Adding frosting.'  Nice!

I'd give anything to forget Courtney's bush.  But there just isn't enough Glenlivet in the world.

Phantasms

Holy fucking shit there's no way to come up with a specific number.  And does no insertion count, if other really freaky stuff went on?

I'm sure I had some fun during "Gambit," but I can't remember with whom.  (Whom?  Who?  I'm on scotch number 10 so forgive me if my grammar's all messed up.)  Oh!  Caitlin Brown, who played Vekor.  She recently spent some time working as Katee Sakhoff's agent, so there you go.  Her "punk" haircut with the shaved sides…

Robin Curtis is a really, really nice person.  I love her to death.  But she wasn't into my particular "vibe" back in the day.  She kept trying to convince me my lifestyle was unhealthy and that I needed to try a committed relationship with one person.  (Marina was nearby during this conversation and nearly choked on…