"It tastes like it sounds: Malort!" is about right.

One time I saw Andrew WK at an outdoor music festival presented by a college radio station. It was on a pretty tiny stage on a patch of lawn in front of some dorms and I honestly don't remember seeing any security - University, private or otherwise - the whole time.

In college I forgot about some Bud Ice we'd stored in an outdoor shed. I found it one really cold afternoon and since then I have a special place in my heart for Bud Ice, chilled to near-freezing so little ice crystals form.

As a manchild with a low-paying job and even lower personal expectations, a Red Baron Mexican-style pizza was often my bridge between a very late night at a bar and a restful night's sleep.

I knew what was coming when he started to touch those solar panels but dammit if I still didn't laugh at the bit. Glad the old man still has the energy to commit like that.

Have you seen The Supersizers Go? Lots of Sue to go around, dressed in whimsically delightful period costumes.

I like to refer to that actor as "Jesse P. Lemons." Try it - you'll like it!

Fuckin' milk. Good riddance, says I.

I thought it was bad news when my candy bar had corn in it.

Maybe it's just me, but for me it doesn't take a genius, recognizable or not, to "get viewers . . .by making everything (about food criticism) super simple."

In for slightly fewer kicks that take twice as long.

But does it have as much kicking as the original?

True, despite the breakthrough in packaging.

Is that near the gentlemen's club?

"Shake, Rattle and Roll" has that line about "a one-eyed cat, peepin' in a seafood store." Subtle!

…as opposed to The Greasy Stranger, which is just like a regular Stranger except you hold as many White Castle sliders as possible in your hand while it falls asleep.

Bless you for knowing that "going off the rails" refers to a retiring TRAIN, and NOT to a retiring train conductor.

Good luck getting them to apologize. They find it hard to say "I'm sorry."

I don't have anything against the guy other than a grudge for causing a surge in food-tourists at the Thurman Cafe in Columbus. It was already a place where the waiting area is larger and more crowded than the actual dining area. We didn't need another 40 minutes tacked to our wait so three teenage girls from New…

Between this and the recent Comedy Central history stories, it's insane to read about how much of TV is essentially Potemkin productions.