Advertising.

He never said he was sick.

DPA, I just watched the first series of I'm Alan Partridge last week. So good.

ZMF, I think that will separate him from the Seagal and Van Damme later in his career, when he doesn't have the following he has today. He'll still be willing and able to make some cash in supporting roles (at least I hope he will).

Oh, no doubt about that, Mr. Taco. But I'm not a teen idol and millions of women aren't madly in love with me.

And one more thing that has nothing to do with anything
For those of you who haven't been to Pitchfork in the past 4 days, but want to make an origami MF Doom (like I want to):

Yeah, that's a conspicuous absence. I could understand if CNN didn't have it up, but the AVC, where the people who are most likely to love Ballard come to play? They should have it.

Peter Gallagher has the scariest, but Efron is competing, since he has a smaller head and therefore the brows look 3 times as big.

I've never really thought of Statham as a celebrity or a box office draw. I mean, I'm sure he gets some asses in the seats, but he's not what Arnold was in the late 80s, early 90s. He's more like what Van Damme and Steven Seagal were.

Zac Efron
has GIGANTIC eyebrows. I mean, Jesus, these things look like they're gonna start eating people soon.

Nope, that doesn't make sense.

I don't know if anyone else said this
So it's not completely like Highlander, but still.

Those fake ads are fucking hilarious.

Former coaches are usually good options, since they know the game better than anyone else and they are generally personable when they aren't angry. Billick was an asshole as a coach (though not a bad coach), but did good things in the booth.

Broseph Stalin, that's true, but what I was trying to get at that not having Madden around at all is going to be weird.

Yes, because the Pats fans you know are a good sample for the entirety of New England.

I think we have the perfect tandem there, Jorge. Imagine how many times Joe would mistake Andre for a woman and try to kiss him.

Why not? I'm sad to see him go but I also understand that it's time for him to retire. How does that not make sense?

My hope is they use drunk Joe Namath.

I wrote an essay about being a fan of the Patriots in college, and the example I used for how hard it is to be a douchebag and a football fan was having to take a break from reading Ulysses to watch the Pats on Sunday.