Any time I make someone say "Jesus, Pilgrim", I know I'm doing my job right.

Burt Reynolds
It's a giant hat. See. It's funny.

Did you eat Nicole's body?

Secretary to the Assistant Crack Whore is actually a good job. Lots of laughs.

I love how the only person there who seemed to get it was Bob Saget.

Is that a grenade?

NEW LOST THEORY! NEW LOST THEORY!

The moral question is "is it worth it to put a woman through 5 hours of abuse to prove a point?"

Towlie: and later, a wire hanger abortion.

Man-adult, don't know why, but that made me laugh.

"I…Jack…zit[s] [on]…Paper Johnson[s]"

Kentucky waterfall sounds more like a sex act or a drinking game than a hairdo.

I'll straight up tell you I'm a bad person and then fuck your sister.

Inside Edition is still on.

EZ Listening is what I would call the muzak version of Eminem that I heard once.

Giving you a fake italian accent is a sign of respect in my book.

And in the clouds behind a stampede. And showing the priests boner.

Why you-a make-a fun of my tomatoes? You-a spell "affect" wrong-a!

Apatow produced, McKay directed.

The argument that the Beatles should cost more is complete bullshit. A copy of Hamlet doesn't cost more than a copy of Harry Potter, does it?