By the soaring spires of the city of Attilan, you've found the secret to summoning Stan! Just joking, true believer! You keep reading 'em, I'll keep writing 'em!

STAN'S SOAPBOX
Terrible news from Tinseltown, true believers! DASHING DARREN ARONOFSKY has dropped out of our favorite hirsute hero's upcoming big-screen bonanza! It seems that ol' Darren is going through a rough time at the moment and didn't want to be so far away from our sandy shores for so long. (I can relate, I…

What say you, True Believers? Should VALIANT VAL KILMER be the next KINGPIN OF CRIME? Personally, I was hoping against hope that SHAMELESS SHANE BLACK would find a part for his pal Val in the next IRON MAN outing! (Just between you and me and the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent listening in, I think he'd make a pretty memorable…

STAN'S SOAPBOX
I can't wait another second to tell you the big news, True Believers! Marvel's Crimson Crusader is headed back to the big screen! Not a dream! Not a "What If…"! That's right, frantic ones, ol' Horn-Head himself, DAREDEVIL will be merrily grappling-hooking his way to monumental multiplexes all across the…

Good grief, is that what the Courageous Commenters of AV Club Assembled gab about when ol' Stan's not around to keep 'em classy? As Ben Grimm would say, what a revoltin' development!

Face front, true believers!
Stan here. You know, it was common knowledge around the Bullpen that I wanted that particular plum part for yours truly, but after seeing Jocular JK's terrific take on J. Jonah, Stan was sold! 'Nuff said!

Hey gang, here's a joke that used to go around the ol' Bullpen: "Annihil-us?! No, Annihil- YOU!" I believe it was Frantic Fred Hembeck that came up with that groaner! 'Nuff said!

STAN'S SOAPBOX
This is it, True Believers! A new age for Marvel's First Family is at hand! The Human Torch may be gone, but his rascally spirit shall live on as none other than your Friendly Neighborhood Wall-Crawler steps up to fill his sizzlin' shoes! And just wait until you see all the new gadgets and gewgaws that…

Forgive me, Fearless Fandom! Due to a top-secret trip back east, Stellar Stan was incongruously incommunicado all last Friday! Who woulda thunk that smart-aleck Sean "The Don" O'Neal would do a neato Newswire on little old me? Thanks, AV Club, and all the cacophonous commenters herein!

Well gang, Smilin' Stan has to hand it to Jules- this is the most beatific bow-out since The Thing announced he could no longer bear to be a member of the Fantastic Four in last month's issue, "Doctor Doom's DEADLY Decree!" Ever onward, Julie, and don't forget us little guys when you take home those Tonys!

Hello heroes! Although JOLLY JULIE, BONO, and THE SLASH didn't actively seek the sages of the Bullpen, GENIAL GERRY CONWAY, AFFABLE ARCHIE GOODWIN, and yep, Yours Truly didn't hesitate to provide them with some prickly pointers! And although they didn't use many of our ideas in the end, we're pretty pleased with the…

Boy, you said it, true believer. It's a bad idea to get on ANNIHILUS's bad side even on a good day! You don't have to be ADAM WARLOCK to know that! 'Nuff said!

Believe me, Marvel madmen, you'll never find a classier gal anywhere along The Great White Way than Jolly Julie. So Swears Stan!
Godspeed and good luck Jules! And as always…

STAN'S SOAPBOX
Greetings, gang! Looks like another mighty Marvel mix-up— it turns out Smilin' Stan here jumped the gun when he told you all that SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK would meet its punishing premiere date! Now before you go ahead and toss your Merry Marvel Marching Society membership card into the ol'…

You said it, true believer! Even Smilin' Stan is ticking off the days until the pulse-pounding premiere of X-MEN: GRADE A! So stay tuned, steadfast stalwarts, because the Marvel Age of Massive Movies is here to stay! Until next time, hang loose, heroes!

Never let it be said that Smilin' Stan can't take a compliment, Jaunty Julie, but you know the only honor I can give out is an official Marvel No-Prize! (So you better believe yours is in the mail!)
Anyhow, Julie, it was great showing you around the ol' Bullpen last week, and don't worry, Rascally Roy Thomas's broken…

STAN'S SOAPBOX
Gather 'round, true believers! Sergeant Stan has another illuminating item of interest about Marvel's next silver screen sensation! "Now Stan", you're saying, "with so many mighty Marvel movies on the horizon, which titanic tale will this be about?" I hear you, heroic ones, loud and clear! To tell you…

Gee whiz, true believers! Looks like Jubilant Julie could teach even ol' Stan a thing or two in the department of peerlessly prosaic pronouncements!

As long as it's not "STAN'S SOAPBOX" or "BULLPEN BULLETINS" or "JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY" it's A-OK with Stan The Man! 'Nuff said!

STAN'S SOAPBOX
Guess what, Marvel madmen? Your weary wait is almost over—Spidey's almost ready to take Broadway by storm! Now listen up, gang, I know we've all heard the breathless buzz about how practically perfect this show is shaping up. Between the peerless production of Jolly JULIE TAYMOR, and the tear-inducing…