I am Tatiana Maslany and can I just say this is my first time on television?

There were only 25 letters in the alphabet before Rumours.

They had me at every word in that headline.

He must be very uncomfortable in there.

I asked him not to write anything blue in a cookbook he was signing for me, because it was a gift for my mother. Everyone around us laughed, and he looked like he wanted to stab me.

Smooth.

You're not missing much.

Nobody actually read this, right? We're just making our own Dorito jokes?

You can't change your name here. Trust me.

Next stop: international lounge, Moscow Airport.

Forget it. About it.

Try imagining it happily. Better?
I assume La Bouf thinks that since we've (I refer to mankind) accepted Franco as an intellectually pretentious halfwit, that we would accept him as well. But no, that spot is filled. Filled with Franco.

How much does he hate James Franco?

They don't mean literally.

Breakfast at Tiffany's has been rented.

I've always assumed that Malcolm Arnold won the Oscar for best score based on the strength of Col. Bogey's March, which he of course did not write.

It's no Planet of the Apes.

The word was out for a few weeks that Ray had pancreatic cancer and would be dying soon.

And you have Crazy Arms. You're a mess.

Yes, my point is they are all are being rebroadcast right now. Except for Carol Burnett, which is always hard to see for some reason.