"which is mildly hilarious given its faux eloquence."

That's not a bad analysis, Pheeze - I actually don't think I'd ever have bought Fish & Chips over any of their "normal" flavours; I just meant they were the best of a bad bunch. Their pickled onion / worcester sauce / ketchup triumvirate was where it was at.

Yeah, that's absolutely ridiculous when people say shit like that, Wolfman.

Kidtruth, it's actually:

Builder's Breakfast Flavour Crisps = someone just farted in my mouth.

Sugartits - I have no idea; I'm pretty sure "Ducktales Party" doesn't mean anything, which is why I found it so funny. If only "ask the AV Club" still existed…

Well, you would say that, Sugartits, you stupid, decadent, Godless bitch.(Actually, fair play to him, that shit must be hard to come up with consistently). Anyway, fuck "Plop Plop" - you people don't give enough props to the "Ducktales Party" dude.

Props for the first, and even more props for Some Douche… brilliant.

MBS - Since you've only been on two dates with this girl and are ALREADY at the stage where you begrudge her the cost of a text message then, no, you probably shouldn't plan too far ahead.

I don't know, dude, you should probably jump out of that closet right now - doesn't sound like you're doing so well in there. You're clearly missing school, and the sense of frustration is practically bleeding out of my screen.

I love the way that whenever a number is mentioned in a comment, a detailed justification of why it is not an attempted something-dsie has to follow - I've found myself doing it a lot lately too.

A Heartbreaking Bout Of Staggering CancerAIDS…
…is probably what awaits me when I declare that AHWOSG was the first work by Eggers that I read.

What's the sheezey, pheezey my neezey? No travels, I'm afraid, unless you count a 3 day trip to All Tomorrow's Parties.

'Rimage - sounds like *somebody* is still a little bitter about being filmed "throw the jews down the well"….

"Dr Kawashima's Anal Nun Sluts Vol. XII"

You beat me to it.

Yes, Yummsh, I'm going to marry a carrot. Kiss it, dicksplash.

You seem to be doing ok so far (unless that's a ghost computer).

Sorry to dampen your hopes of marriage but it seems like she was a little bit into Karl Ryan. Only, he blew his flirting opportunity (or "flirtottunity"):

Michaelangelo Matos sounds like the kind of guy who would market himself as "the smartest man in the world", and then destroy half of said world with a giant squid-fanny monster.