i'm the rzarecter, be my sacrifice
commit suicide and i'll bring you back to life!

yeah. i'm not really a klosterman fan, but i thought this was pretty funny.
is that outrageous?

Klosterman's Finest
this is the best thing chuck klosterman has ever written.

Where's Gravediggaz???
So you want to die
Committ suicide
Dial 1 800 cyanide line

Good News…?
Good News for People… um.. wait.. what?

right i getcha. i agree.

wait, you're joking about not taking a honda on the bqe, lie, etc., right?

i didn't realize the earlier commenters handle was 'gentle herpes' and so i read the beginning of the above post thusly:
I agree. Herpes - that chemistry between the leads - is the only requirement for success.
hilarious, but untrue. take it from me, it takes more than herpes for a couple to succeed.

yeah that ben stiller show sketch is great. i think it was called 'die hard 12: die hungry' and included stiller as mclane saying 'california' in an over-exaggerated, sarcastic bruce willis voice. i still say that when the subject of california comes up.
also, i agree with your point about die hard 2 being strikingly…

Die Hard with a Vengeance
I am shocked to read that you know few other people who like this movie. I like pretty much everything this movie does. Bruce Willis is in top sarcastic action star form, Irons is clearly having a good time, and - although he's not my personal fave - I was always under the impression that…

Cowboy Steve
Does anybody from Minnesota (or possibly greater midwest) remember the Cowboy Steve commercials for Tires Plus?

jorge von salsa - yeah, i know that. i'm not an idiot. i was being, umm, uh.. what's it called again? like when you say the opposite of what you actually mean for rhetorical effect? what's that called again?

yeah. like, when they are describing the premise of the movie, does the av club actually mean that this is a movie about a woman who makes a decision to travel through time in a wholly predictable fashion and develops a mundane relationship with a man she fails to make the acquaintance of because she always stays at…

yeah i was more trying to get at the point that tomwaits made about time traveler's wife. if you're sarcastic 100 percent of the time it just gets confusing. maybe each individual person wrote about a different movie and then they didn't compare the write-ups before they published them. each person just handed in…

"If you look at surveys amongst medical professionals…"
I often wonder about this when I'm watching Scrubs or House or something. I sometimes suspect that many of these shows are so laughably unrealistic that actual doctors and nurses (and hospital janitors!) can't even watch them. Is Scrubs really considered the most…

butter beats chocolate? no way! chocolate beats everything! chocolate beats butter. chocolate beats carrots. chocolate beats beets.

went a little heavy on the sarcasm there av club
i don't think sarcasm is as effective if sarcasm is the only tone that is ever adopted.

as wichita falls so falls wichita falls
good write up.
HOWEVER: the movie's set in wichita. not in wichita falls. it's not like i'm from the midwest or something, but i know the difference between the two. actually, it's kind of important to understand that these are two different and unrelated cities if you're going…

the thing about it is, if tom petty was doing an interview about his appearance in 'the postman', do you think the interviewer would mention his music career by way of context? i think yes.
thornton is a boring and typical celebrity asshole.

by that i mean: hey dudes! start with the exploding hearts! it's awesome!