Great Job, Internet!

Is that Joe Dirt's non-union Italian equivalent?

Alternate, funnier ideas:

The idea of it is much funnier than the execution.

Except that bit was funny. This is stupid.

Is "tri-county area" the slang term for your taint?

That's like one-third of a Transformers movie!

It rubs the wood paneling on its skin or else it gets the hose again!

Does it mean woodies are back? I've got one ready for the big time if it's socially acceptable.

For when you play Custer's Revenge?

I clicked on this just to say "fuck you, nostagia," but that is actually a pretty cool design.

That's not enough! We demand more asbestos! More asbetos!

Bend over and I'll show you.

Isn't that specifically referring to a sphincter? And how often are you seeing those?

Not sure how to feel about this. I mean sure, fuck Trump with a sharp stick, but this is at its heart a clever bit of marketing calculated for millions of "^THIS" retweets and articles like this.

That said, there are some occasions where public shaming is necessary. Earlier this year I bitched at a company on Twitter after they were utterly useless and unhelpful on multiple phone calls. I have a big fat 70 followers, but it still got a very fast response.

Yeah well, that's just like your opinion, man.

Something something tesseract?

Something about love and a bookshelf. Then it ends with a big musical number singing "Who wrote the book of love?"

Can't believe someone invested time and effort into the concept.