So, dorks, geeks and nerds converge annually, as though to spawn, but as spawning requires even a modicum of copulatory skills, instead they gawk at trailers for yet another bit of uber juvenile, silly, masturbatory enabling superhero cinematic nonsense. Ooooo, I'm so jellie. Hmmph.

I think you're splitting hairs, sounding a bit confused and oblivious. You're talking as though you just drank one of Cosby's "cocktails." Hmmph.

(thinks to self)
Am I typing these words?!

I normally avoid such fantastical, unrealistic terms as monster, but this is absolutely one of the rare instances of when the word is perfectly accurate - an exceptionally popular and successful individual affectionately celebrated as his Nation's Father Figure leading a double life, all the while secretly a depraved…

Did Charles Dutton ever admit to also raping that guy he killed manslaughtered?

I thought MJ's dad's murder was in response to MJ always sticking his tongue out at opponents… No, that's not funny. I apologize for that comment which I just as easily could have chosen not to post rather than following it up with this bogus apology. Hmmph.

ALF WAS A SERIAL CAT KILLER!

No, leaving the reruns on the air can only be interpreted as an arrogant, callous, tasteless expression of support by the network for Bill Cosby. It's perhaps an unfortunate situation to have a program upon which you've worked be pulled from the air for reasons as disturbing as this, but that's what decent, normal…

What is a foggy, hazy but severely traumatic memory of having been sexually violated, Alex?

Or like O'Neal. Hmmph.

This is just like that time I claimed to be the best, funniest, most popular commenter on the AV Club. Remember? I think that was, um, 20 seconds ago. Hmmph.

Weber?! Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

If by "some" you mean the cold shoulder, then yeah, I got some.

I like Apatow productions, even inferior Apatow productions. There's a very curious and distinct quality to his humor in which the silliness is nicely offset by often blatant pathos. Is that ironic bathos?! Well, whatever they call it, Apatow's sensibilities are less about simple jokes and gags and much more about…

Guy walks into a bar and asks for a blow job. Bartender tells the guy to fuck off. The guy leaves but comes back the next day and again asks for a blow job, and the bartender tell him to fuck off or he'll nail his dick to the floor. The guy leaves but again comes back the next day and asks the bartender if he has any…

It wasn't so much the tea tax that pissed off the colonists, it was the beer and whiskey taxes.

Are you getting Fresca with me?

Dancing!

But true radical militant leftists don't give a fuck about that quaint little tea party social club that calls itself the NRA. The only card I carry is my organ donor card. All other cliques and knitting circles can stand aside, and make way for the real threat, the real power, the real revolutionary - the motivated…

Foo Fighters are just OK, better than a lot of rock bands, but not remarkable. There's something missing, something elemental, primal, and vital, something which Nirvana exuded and which most bands lack. But Foo Fighters' drummer, Taylor Hawkins, is awesome, and Everlong's a cool tune. My Hero, too.