You can't hug your children with Nuclear Arms…

Yes, but only because most massacres in the modern era were reclassified as 'Football Fan Events'.

I Know! Pneumatic Tranq guns are actually fairly well-regulated on the mainstream net. You either gotta go to darkweb or pay out the ass to get one.

But they'd just keep trying to eat their own laser sights!

"One Helmet Per Citizen"
Hey, a public works program's a public works program…

Factfindingmission is Park Chan-Wook.
Who knew?

I do. I'm spillin' all over the place here!

… But enough about the ATF…

Bro, I say don't ease them into the bunker. If anything, you should be LEADING with the bunker.

Doomsday device you say?
Well, I suppose I could part with ONE and still be feared.

-Ebeneezer Scrooge/Fox News

(Miramax picks it up for development with Todd Phillips directing)

[coughs up muffin smoke]
Wait, what?

Perhaps, Matthew.

Sorry, the only Klingon I know is 'HeglumeH jajvam

Oh, we've wasted A LOT more than that.
I've spent, at minimum. At minimum mind you. $400 on replica tricorders in my lifetime.

"Assimilate this."

"Salinger. There was a prolific guy. I reread 'Cather in the Rye' recently. It still holds up. I'd forgotten Holden's classic line: 'Kill John Lennon, Mark.'

The AV Club
FEED ME A STRAY CAT

Robert Kirkman.
Has been on.
The View.