You tie that yellow ribbon round the old oak tree!

My significant other in college complained (after we'd been together for a year) that we never went on any "real" dates. I promised to take her to the next thing showing at the only movie theatre in town, a single-screen, second-run type of place. So of course the next thing to go up was "Snakes on a Plane."

I once met up with a dude from the internet and we were going to see Inland Empire. The movie theatre that was showing it apparently lied about it being there and even lied about being open to the general public that dey. The guy walked me back to the train station and I never saw him again.

Guys, this is missing one important thing. Bagel Bites! Pizza bagels forever!

As a vegetarian/occasional vegan, I love Taco Bell. As @wolfmansRazor:disqus says, it's a meal instead of french fries.

That cereal was vile. I wouldn't even eat it when I was eight.

Oh man, I'd kill for some Reese's Puffs right now.

I really liked Coke Blak. Then again, I'm also into licorice flavored soda, so I just like gross things.

Hunger Games fans are overbearing? Have you never met Twilight or Harry Potter people?

"Teenage Dream" is the only Katy Perry song I like. Everything else ranges from eh to outright offensive.

pizza day!

Andy Zaltzman calling sperm Stalinists had me crying. Holy goodness.

Stephen Metcalfe is the platonic form of insufferable nebbish.

TVOTI come back!

Some love for women's sports on the BS report? I'll have to check this out and imagine Simmons grinding his teeth in agony the whole time.

Yes, because if there's one thing that isn't affected by class and race, it's teen pregnancy and the options available to the mother.

The "ruble-dollar" is actually the secret and official currency all bribery is conducted in here in Russia.

Or someone got his pants stolen while he was in the sauna.

Actually, the Greek drama reference makes sense. The Lysistrata was an Athenian satire about how the Spartans were pussies who couldn't control their cunty wives.

"seduce" -> "rape