"Are you trying to Garfunkel me?"
"Maybe. If Garfunkel means to be a fat cat who hogs the spotlight and eats all the lasagna."

I run an NFL Draft website and it always confuses me to see this because there's a really fast wide receiver from Georgia this year named Chris Conley.

She/he often walked a fine line between "actually questioning sexist assumptions" and "making shit up to put words in people's mouths then calling them sexist for those words."

Eminem SAID you would be on the Internet! Quit trying to lure our kids with you into bed!

Me too. Every time I take a vacation, I think "God, it's so beautiful and clean here, why don't I move already?" I'm convinced the crappy air and water have a somatic effect that makes people forget life can be better elsewhere.

I am definitely jealous of anyone who gets paid to tell stories for a living.

"And Lot and his daughters couldn't even look back at her, or they might be turned into pillars of who knows what spice."

He was trying to take the higher ground on this.

See, this is exactly why I haven't watched Hannibal. I don't need any more body-horror shit.

What is the motivation for falsifying "copycat" accusations of rape?

"As we all know, there are too many of these stories for them to all not be true. What my hypothesis presupposes is… maybe they aren't."

It's like all the dumb motherfuckers I grew up around got the internet in the last five years!

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE HE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE SAID SHE…

We talked about The Prince a few times in the classic Shield reviews; wallflower's description, which makes a lot of sense, is that it's the first work of political science rather than political philosophy. (i.e. "What is the most effective way to govern?" vs. "What is the right way to govern?")

Isn't the LOTR source material, like, ten times as long as the Hobbit's? I refused to see the Hobbit because it seemed like such a soulless cash grab.

I do agree the track titles are funny, but it makes the content of the tracks exceedingly difficult to look up.

I like that Butthole Surfers isn't actually a name that has anything to do with pooping. It's what the guys call dogs who scoot across the carpet to scratch their butts on it.

Well, I guess I'll just watch some Alan Partridge again.

I have avoided listening to Diarrhea Planet mostly by not being aware of their existence until three minutes ago.

I've seen a handful of episodes of The League. One was pretty funny and the rest were mostly annoying.