Oh, I know, I was being ironic.  I remember reading an interview where he said that it's his job to be funny, so he has no interest in being funny in real life.  Sounds like a real pleasant dude.  Also, I'm pretty sure having a title is the opposite of fun.

Oh, I know, I was being ironic.  I remember reading an interview where he said that it's his job to be funny, so he has no interest in being funny in real life.  Sounds like a real pleasant dude.  Also, I'm pretty sure having a title is the opposite of fun.

I wish I could recapture the thrill of playing video games back when the pixelated half-boobs in Duke Nukem 3D were basically the greatest accomplishment of humanity.  Instead I just spent three and a half hours arranging diplomatic marriages with maritime city-states and trading gems with India.

I wish I could recapture the thrill of playing video games back when the pixelated half-boobs in Duke Nukem 3D were basically the greatest accomplishment of humanity.  Instead I just spent three and a half hours arranging diplomatic marriages with maritime city-states and trading gems with India.

So when are they bringing in Jeremy Renner to play his brother?

So when are they bringing in Jeremy Renner to play his brother?

Not even the Internet remembers the name of a character in Final Destination.  All it remembers is the scene where the plane explodes and shatters all of the windows in the airport, because physicis concepts applied to thrillers are cool (see also: ciagrette rolling in The Wages of Fear - factually inaccurate, but…

Not even the Internet remembers the name of a character in Final Destination.  All it remembers is the scene where the plane explodes and shatters all of the windows in the airport, because physicis concepts applied to thrillers are cool (see also: ciagrette rolling in The Wages of Fear - factually inaccurate, but…

I don't want to rain on the parade of Slackers-love, but in high school my friends dragged me to see that shit in theaters and then watched it more than once on cable, and I thought it was an unlikeable movie about unlikeable assholes.  Now, I was a sanctimonious prick of a teenager at the time, but it still rankled…

I don't want to rain on the parade of Slackers-love, but in high school my friends dragged me to see that shit in theaters and then watched it more than once on cable, and I thought it was an unlikeable movie about unlikeable assholes.  Now, I was a sanctimonious prick of a teenager at the time, but it still rankled…

50% at first, then his agent negotiated 65.

50% at first, then his agent negotiated 65.

"Crisco with sugar and red food dye" - you couldn't have just bought some Kool-Whip?

"Crisco with sugar and red food dye" - you couldn't have just bought some Kool-Whip?

When in fact Thora Birch became either the protagonist or the ghost in a bunch of direct-to-Netflix-Instant-Play horror movies.

When in fact Thora Birch became either the protagonist or the ghost in a bunch of direct-to-Netflix-Instant-Play horror movies.

Sawa seemed like he was in a hurry to get out of their.  He had some business to attend to… Some masturbating business.

Sawa seemed like he was in a hurry to get out of their.  He had some business to attend to… Some masturbating business.

Hollywood really is a fascinating beast.  You start out as a cheap, non-union cinematographer or something, then you get into the AACP or whatever it's called, then you're the cinematographer with the hard-to-pronounce name who's in charge of framing Rick Moranis on a football field, and then you're one of the most…

Hollywood really is a fascinating beast.  You start out as a cheap, non-union cinematographer or something, then you get into the AACP or whatever it's called, then you're the cinematographer with the hard-to-pronounce name who's in charge of framing Rick Moranis on a football field, and then you're one of the most…