I started explaining Oldboy to my wife, and when I found myself saying, "Basically, it was all hypnotism…" I realized how thin the plot was.  Really, I think that illustrates how well made the movie is - it's so artful that I didn't mind being openly manipulated, though I doubt I'll ever feel compelled to watch it…

I started explaining Oldboy to my wife, and when I found myself saying, "Basically, it was all hypnotism…" I realized how thin the plot was.  Really, I think that illustrates how well made the movie is - it's so artful that I didn't mind being openly manipulated, though I doubt I'll ever feel compelled to watch it…

Jesus Christ, I could barely sit through Last House on the Left back in college.  I actually remember my rage at the "chickens in the pickup truck" scene (complete with honking Green Acres-esque music) much more clearly than any of the actual plot.

Jesus Christ, I could barely sit through Last House on the Left back in college.  I actually remember my rage at the "chickens in the pickup truck" scene (complete with honking Green Acres-esque music) much more clearly than any of the actual plot.

Deported for a DUI?  My sister in law just heard again from her abusive Welsh ex-husband, who's been living here on an expired visa for ten years despite biannual arrests for drug possession.  Get with the program, indie movie!

Deported for a DUI?  My sister in law just heard again from her abusive Welsh ex-husband, who's been living here on an expired visa for ten years despite biannual arrests for drug possession.  Get with the program, indie movie!

Thess lad's got auld and no cunt leaves here til we find oot what cunt ded et!

Thess lad's got auld and no cunt leaves here til we find oot what cunt ded et!

I haven't watched Nosferatu in too long.  I liked Ebert's assessment, that he didn't mind watching the movie in German with English subtitles, but he would've been satisfied with the actors speaking a nonexistent language and letting him soak in the images.

I haven't watched Nosferatu in too long.  I liked Ebert's assessment, that he didn't mind watching the movie in German with English subtitles, but he would've been satisfied with the actors speaking a nonexistent language and letting him soak in the images.

The more I think about it, the higher I would place "dude licking Chyna's enlarged clitoris" on the list of Things I Wish I Could Unsee.

The more I think about it, the higher I would place "dude licking Chyna's enlarged clitoris" on the list of Things I Wish I Could Unsee.

"The American Dream" (which many people interpret as the capacity to improve your lot in life, and more interpret as the God-given right to do whatever you want and own as much shit as possible) is basically a secular theology in this country, and like any theology it's frequently used as justification for appalling…

"The American Dream" (which many people interpret as the capacity to improve your lot in life, and more interpret as the God-given right to do whatever you want and own as much shit as possible) is basically a secular theology in this country, and like any theology it's frequently used as justification for appalling…

I would like someone to make a biopic about a sitting president that just fictionalizes the end of his term.  I don't know that it would have any artistic value besides chutzpah, and it would almost undoubtedly turn into an ugly, partisan tirade, but I would still like to see alternate history immediately supplanted…

I would like someone to make a biopic about a sitting president that just fictionalizes the end of his term.  I don't know that it would have any artistic value besides chutzpah, and it would almost undoubtedly turn into an ugly, partisan tirade, but I would still like to see alternate history immediately supplanted…

The 2000 election heist was better.

The 2000 election heist was better.

Don't worry, Jonathan Rosenbaum won't cry for you.  I've complained about this before, but his vociferous takedowns of every Spielberg and Coen Brothers movie (even taking a potshot at Schindler's List in his review of The Pianist) have made me respect his opinions less.  I won't deny his importance in the…

Don't worry, Jonathan Rosenbaum won't cry for you.  I've complained about this before, but his vociferous takedowns of every Spielberg and Coen Brothers movie (even taking a potshot at Schindler's List in his review of The Pianist) have made me respect his opinions less.  I won't deny his importance in the…