No, no, no, that's because that's a thing from the nineties…you just say you're into dubstep but you don't really mean that.

The stuff I was plagiarizing was all discarded material I found in the school. Reams and reams of paper headed for the recyclers: assignments, mash notes dropped in passing, pages copied from mimeographed 1960s wrestling manuals. I used about 10 pages of found material to write the project, then showed the rest of…

Ha ha, I did something like this for a creative writing project in high school. The original source material got passed around a lot and was quite controversial. The teacher wasn't sure if he should give me an A or an F, so I got a B- instead. Then again, I wasn't famous for being a douche.

I thought it was marked styrofoam cups for the syrup.

I would like to see some odds on him going to jail for this. I've got to imagine he'll get some kind of suspended sentence. It's never the original crime that gets them, it's the breaking the of probation. And last time I checked, Florida is pretty rough on drunk driving.
Personally, I don't see the big deal. It's…

"Rosebud….brand frozen peas"

Somebody sussed out there, haven't they, at some point, like, ten years into it. All they prefer to do is walk. They'll walk and play.

I know for a fact that has nothing to do with this song.

The Clitoris Purple

I thought the entire purpose of pennies was for the I90 tollway.

I thought it was Tom Sizemore.

*adds presentable asshole to resume*

Take to the sea!

A right fuckin con, if you ask me.

These guys say otherwise: http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Let's see her try to stop my fanfic reboot, Mouth Sex, She Wrote.

Yay! another show about cops.

He MC'ed a John Scofield concert in Lincoln Park while he was running for congress. When I shook his hand, I thought he was giving me some kind of secret handshake.

Next up, the mayor declares a war on potholes.

I've switched over to Glencallan Scotch.