Chuck Berry is still alive. I'm sure he knows a good bake when he sees it.

I've been doing remodeling projects around my house for the past 2 years. If I'm not listening to music/podcasts, it's nice to have the option of streaming something in a remote area. It's made my awful bathroom renovation experience go much smoother.

I'm hoping for many seasons of long, uncomfortable stare-downs.

Of the compulsive liars I've dealt with, that's actually sort of charming. Among them was a girl who claimed her father was stationed outside of Fallujah during the worst of the Iraq War (her dad was a farmer).

There are patents out there for accomodations that are very similar to standing in a subway car.

What are you talking about … modern engineering brought us the F-35.

I was pleasantly surprised by the options/price/quality of Brazillian domestic flights. Ended up flying Gol a couple times, and it was as decent as (if not nicer than) most U.S. domestic flights. It was nice to accrue Delta miles, too.

Babymetal still has an unaddressed Babymetal problem

It's helpful to do this kind of focused analysis.

The dumpsters are the least defiled areas of the property.

I think the memories are Urkel's last thoughts … total Jacob's Ladder scenario.

When I was 14, I really wanted to be a cop (peak confusion). I went on a ride-along with a local officer during my school's "Job Shadow Day."

Just once I would love to read a headline similar to this:

As a brass guy, seeing the Chicago Symphony is on my bucket list. Watching them perform Rite of Spring sounds unreal.

HEY … GET A LOAD OF THIS CLASSICAL COMPOSER … TRY'N TO ORCHESTRATE SEVERAL DOZEN HIGHLY-TRAINED MUSICIANS TO PERFORM THE COMPLEX SCORE THAT HE/SHE LABORED OVER WITHOUT THE AID OF CURRENT TECHNOLOGY …

This just furthers my resolve to sneak edibles into a Department of Justice banquet/luncheon.

Minnesota is a wonderful place to live, but there's a weird undercurrent of Lutheran-driven repulsion from anything that's fun.

There's another big push to legalize Sunday liqour sales, which might actually pass within the next weeks/months.

We tried that, but they paid dumb people to wear tri-corner hats and yell about tea.

The role of Andre Drummond will be played by the guy who played Mr. Drummond on Diff'rent Strokes.