Once in a great while, we are privileged to experience a television event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared heritage.

My son is also named Bortles.

The Vikings/Bears dynamic for the past 7 years has been frustrating as hell. It doesn't matter how good or bad either team is … the home team will pretty much always win.

The Pistons should only have one illustrated logo: Bill Laimbeer elbowing a dude, with Isiah Thomas in the background giving an approving look.

I doesn't matter to me as much, considering how ugly and ill-conceived a lot of the newer team logos and uniforms are (i.e. OKC Thunder, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, every single minor/junior league hockey team).

*weeping*

The "Teal Era" for the Pistons was bizarre.

If that's how you feel, then you'll love New Orleans' Smoothie King Center.

Those things are like a little kid with progeria cracking all his ribs trying to catch a Nerf ball. Just sad. Dammit, she has gloomy tits.

You should have just given her an arbitrary fine.

Attack of the Clones ruined light sabers. It also made the Jedi look like a LARP crew.

What About Torrance?®

Totally. Jesse was elected at the right place at the right time.

That was the maddening part about Jesse: for all of his dumb posturing and populist/limited government views, the dude actually had some integrity.

Alaska has oil revenue. With Minnesota, you actually have to worry about a budget.

Oh, you say that about every movie.

Jerrica is actually a biblical name. It translates to "Jaxon's Punching Bag."

Don't forget We Hate Movies. Come for the contemptuous analysis … stay for the Nick Nolte and Wilford Brimley impersonations.

"This movie is literally the holocaust."

It's the part she was born to play, baby!