Clearly the only solution is to quit your job, on the off-chance that this might happen again someday.

Quick, someone post an article about Chloe Moretz!

*PAGING HIPSTERDBAG, YOU'RE WANTED IN THE NEWSWIRE*

Ask Patti and Selma.

They must hate fun. Now I have to rewatch Time Bandits this weekend.

Shut up, Leonard. I know about your love for pecan Pringles.

Can't he be both?

Thus, cuddling is necessary by the fire! Come on, rev!

Ha-ha!

But do they even make the TV Guide anymore?!! THANKS TUROK OBAMA.

I love how exceedingly absurd the story gets. From just a little drunken heckling, to silly string and bike chains and you yelling "NEVER!!!"

Ask your mom!

Or that angry old woman who lives near my house.

I am Dancer.

So: Lifetime movies and the dorm rooms of all-girl boarding schools?

Being exiled over the Wall, pre-White Walkers, actually seems like a lot of fun.

Good call, though I wonder why they were all wearing the orange jumpsuits?

Why does the old lady only knit the future of the community service crew? Do you think she also has like 10 sweaters that picture her future: it's her, sitting in her chair, knitting a sweater.

Does a tylenol as the depression is onsetting really help? I usually try upping my caffeine and chocolate intake, and standing in the sun. A little exercise also makes a difference. Any other methods could really help me out in case the holidays are hard.

Yeah, now just add "nice" to the list :)